I AM SINGLE: FIGHTING THE LONELINESS

How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine your teeth till meaningless
And sharpen them with lies

And whatever is going down
Will follow you around
That's how you fight loneliness

You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke

And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you'll ever need
That's how you fight it

Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time

I AM SINGLE: UH..OH... I'M IN TROUBLE

When a lil crush became a serious crush.... you will be in a deep deep trouble.

He was supposed to have a crush on me and not the other way round. Now, after I recollected my senses, I knew that all this while he was just being shy, and it was me who had a crush on him. Oh my God! I am so DEAD!!

After that little small tiny smile, he'd given me last week, he never fail to smile at me again whenever we bumped into each other. Everything should be normal now. There shouldn't be any more awkwardness between us.

But I still feel awkward and sometimes anxious. Awkward when he is around and anxious when he is not. So, help me God!!!

UNDERSTAND YOURSELF

It's funny...errr, at least for me, that at this stage of life, I am still struggling to understand myself. I always consider myself as plain boring person. I think I am a quiet person at times and shy at the same time. But my friends who know me will surely laugh at the notion of me being quiet and shy because, there were times that I am also very jovial, talkative, friendly and quick to laugh. My attitude actually depends a lot on which group of people I am surrounded with. It changes drastically from one group to another. But as a whole, I am still a plain boring person.

I remembered attended a course back then in 2005. There, I learnt about the four types of personality and we were asked to take personality test to identify in which traits that we belong. The four personality types are sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric and melancholic and basically our character is defined by the combination of the four. 

Here are the basic type of personality. May be you already know about it but a lil refresh wouldn't harm right?

SANGUINE

Sanguine is a sociable person. They laugh for the hard days, wise words when squeezed by the burden, creative, enthusiasm and always have the energy to start. Sanguine love to be popular. They have a lot of friends. They love to talk, to perform, help each other and they always curious. Sanguine love to be children forever.

PHLEGMATIC

Phlegmatic is a peaceful person. They always stable, patient and have a compassion for the other. They always keep calm, when the other was in confusion. They are humble, silent, controlled, good listener and always happy with their life. They always be the mediator and easy to get along with.

CHOLERIC

Choleric is a strong person. They have a strong leadership. They are faithful, brave and have the freedom to be on one's own. They all forced and always want to make a change. strong willed and assertive, goal oriented, well organized and they don't really need friends. They always be the superior one in the emergency time.

MELANCHOLIC

Melancholic is a sensitive person. Depth to see the heart and soul of life. Artistic to appreciate the art. They are thoughtfully, analytical, serious and have a talent. They are perfectionist, so they love details. Melancholies looking for some ideal mate.  

I am a sanguine by nature and a mix of phlegmatic and melancholic. But I think when grew older, I become more of a phlegmatic than a sanguine. I scored only 3% on choleric traits. But yeah, I always know that I wasn't born to be a leader. In fact I never want to lead but I know I am a good, attentive, reliable and loyal follower. And I am proud to admit that all of my bosses love me. [big grin]

So, what are you? Take the test here.

. CHOLERIC : Choleric is a strong person. they have a strong leadership.They are faithful, brave, and have the freedom to be on one's own. They all forced and always want to make a change. Strong-willed and assertive, goal oriented, well organized, and they don't really need friends. They always be the superior one in the emergency time.

3. MELANCHOLIC: Melancholies is a sensitive person. depth to see the heart and soul of life. Artistic to appreciate the art.They are toughtfully, analytical, serious, and have a talent. they are perfectionist, so they love details. Melancholies lookin for some ideal mate.

4. PHLEGMATIC: Phlegmatic is a peaceful person. they always stable, patient, and have a compassion for the other. They always keep clam,when the other was in confusion.they are humble, silent, controlled, good listener, and always happy with their life. They always be the mediator, and easy to get along with.
- See more at: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/personality-test/articles/38686/title/sanguine-choleric-melancholic-phlegmatic#sthash.OCVxmDu0.dpuf

DIRGAHAYU MALAYSIA

Ya Allah....Selamatkanlah Malaysia daripada segala anasir-anasir yang jahat dan tak ada otak!!

Kejadian yang berlaku di Lahad Datu sekarang sangat menakutkan. Walaupun aku jauh di Semenanjung tetapi aku ada ramai kawan kat Sabah jugak. Ya Allah...selamatkanlah mereka semuanya. Peliharalah kedaulatan Malaysia. Berilah kemenangan kepada kami Ya Allah. Amin.

Al-Fatihah untuk anggota keselamatan yang gugur demi  mempertahankan tanahair tercinta. 

I AM SINGLE: A LITTLE CRUSH

Hahaha...tajuk jer pun dah buat aku senyum-senyum kambing. 

Masa waktu sekolah dulu, aku terminat dekat seorang mamat "diskang" yang tak pernah sikitpun jeling kat aku.  Tapi aku suka cara dia dressing, cara dia berjalan, style dia dan dia tak termasuk dalam kategori handsome langsung. Mamat ni hanya sekelas dengan aku masa subjek English. So,suddenly English has become my favourite subject because of the lil crush that I had.

Bila masuk Uni, aku pun ada a few "crushes" jugak. Aku pernah terminat kat mamat yang paling mysterious dalam batch aku, but he turned out fell for my best friend and after that coupled with one of the prettiest girl in our faculty. I also had a crush on the most prominent student leader in the campus and he also turned out fell for my other best friend who is extremely pretty and popular among guys.

So, basically semua orang yang aku minat tu, tak pernah sedar pun kewujudan aku kat muka bumi ni. Hehehe. But, that is what you called crush, a temporary infatuation and the other side should not know about it. Because if he knows that you had a crush on him, you'll be like DEAD man!! MALU BESAR ok!

And, I thought all those "crush" thing only happened to teenagers. Little did I know, it can happen again to me now, at this age of "over" maturity. Hehehe.

I met this young lecturer at a meeting where he was the chairman. At that time, I was so impressed with his English accent. Bila dia bercakap English tu, macam wow giler tapi bila cakap melayu, bunyi kelantan habis. Hahaha!! Tapi masa tu tak ada rasa apapun until I met him again, at a course in Langkawi. We were representing our Uni together with two other lecturers and two officers. 

Masa kat sana lah, we started to really know each other. Dia memang bijak, extremely smart kot and very very funny. Selain waktu-waktu yang kitaorang spent at the training sessions, kitaorang jugak spent masa sama-sama leisurely, pergi shopping, makan and so on. He was very funny and he thought that I was funny. He liked teasing me and he liked it when I argued with him. Masa tu, aku rasa macam ada "something going on" between us. Aku rasa lah...sebab aku rasa happy bila nampak dia dan dia pun nampak happy bila nampak aku..... hahaha!!

But on the last day, before we parted, he had said to me, "whatever happened in Langkawi stays in Langkawi". It was kind of a reminder that a simple infatuation that we had shouldn't be taken seriously. It took me some times juga untuk lupakan apa yang berlaku di Langkawi. Luckily, kami jarang terserempak lagi selepas tu. Ada lah kot 2 kali  I bumped into him, and we had talked casually and every time my heart still beating hard though... [sigh]

Now, at my new office, there was a young officer yang cute sangat. Aku dah pernah selalu nampak dia pun sebelum ni tapi kitaorang tak pernah kerja in the same place. Somehow or rather, aku rasa dia sangat segan dengan aku. I don't know why. He avoided meeting my eyes every time I accidentally looked at him. He don't even smile at me. Dia memang mengelak dari terserempak dengan aku. I can feel that. And aku macam like, weiii, kenapa kau segan dengan aku ni??

Tapi satu hari, aku nak masuk bilik aku, and tak sengaja I caught his eyes and he smiled at me. A little small tiny smile. I was stunned...returned his smile, and quickly rushed back to my safe office for my eyes, my ears, my heart and my whole body were smiling too...... [pitam]

ANDAI AKU SEORANG LELAKI

Andai diriku ini seorang lelaki... akan ku :
...menjadi imam yang terbaik semampuku untuk isteri dan anak-anakku
...menjaga sebaik mungkin janjiku semasa menuturkan akad itu di suatu masa dulu..













































..... hanya andai aku seorang lelaki.....